When playing Kalliopoly, it is wisest to choose the winner in advance

Esoteric version of familiar board game explores Kallio streets and watering-holes

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By Tomi Tyysteri
     
      "Go to Rehab. Go Directly to Rehab without passing Kultapalmu".
      If you pick up this card, your situation is rather grave, since according to the official rules, the aim of the game is to get wasted, and Kultapalmu is a bar well-designed for the purpose.
      When you are stuck on the In Rehab square you are also prevented from moving around the Kalliopoly [Kalliopoli] board or from erecting Thai massage salons or sub-branches of the said watering-hole Kultapalmu on the properties you own.
      As must be obvious already, Kalliopoly, "the unreal real estate game", is a variant of the classic board game Monopoly. Everything takes place in the Helsinki working-class district of Kallio, amid its tradition-drenched streets and bars.
     
"The game is a gently ironic paean to the unique character of the Kallio district", explains Jouni Kontiala, one of the game's two developers. Kontiala and Maija Sohlman spent a couple of years designing the game and the board, and since last October it has been under test at the Kultapalmu bar and restaurant on Vaasankatu.
      On the board, the familiar Kallio streets form the same kind of real estate entities as are found in slightly better-known versions of the work based on London or the original Atlantic City, NJ, or even the Finnish equivalent, which is modelled on Helsinki.
      For example, Sturenkatu, Aleksis Kiven katu, and Hämeentie form a colour-coded combination that all players want to acquire - the equivalent of the Mayfair-Park Lane pairing or the Regent Street, Oxford Street, Bond Street grouping on the London board.*
      In all, 22 of the most important streets in Kallio, at least in Kontiala's view, have been included on the board.
      In addition to the Sörnäinen metro stop, the "stations" located in the centre of each of the sides of the square board are represented by the taxi-stands on Helsinginkatu and at the Karhupuisto park, and - a little dubiously - by the railway goods depot on Aleksis Kiven katu.
     
Kontiala got the inspiration for the local variant of the game after reading a copy of René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo's Asterix that was localised and translated into the Savo dialect of Eastern Finland, and he then persuaded Sohlman to join in. As a professional in the branch, she took responsibility for the graphic design of the game.
      "To be quite honest, it's almost annoying that the game has been completed, since the design process was such a laugh", recalls Sohlman.
     
From the viewpoint of the occasional player of the game, it looks as if the makers had most fun in devising the Kalliopoly equivalents of the "Chance" and "Community Chest" cards, known in this version as "Sattuma" and "Pottuma".
      The instructions on these enrich and impoverish the players in a rather less orthodox capitalist fashion than in standard versions.
      One's immediate cash-flow problems can, for instance, be alleviated by returning a crate of empties to the local Alko outlet, by selling one's collection of dog-eared Tex Willer comics to the second-hand bookshop, or by the timely demise of one's mother-in-law. Outgoings, on the other hand, include a hefty Viagra invoice, fines for assault and battery of a local politician, and - naturally - the costs of propping up the bar, or several bars.
     
Much imagination has also gone into the design of the playing-pieces or tokens, as the player can choose to travel around the board in guises that include nail-clippers, a coin, a condom, or even a junior basketball medal (won and supplied by Kontiala himself). .
      It could not be claimed that any kind of Kalliopoly club has sprouted up yet, but according to the staff at Kultapalmu, a few individuals who are not among the bar's regulars have dropped in for a game or two. Some idea of the enthusiasm might be gained from the fact that someone has already tried to steal the game at least once.
      According to the two designers, however, one thing is absolutely certain: there will be only one copy of Kalliopoly, and it will be played only in Kultapalmu.
     
Kontiala and Sohlman note that the rules for Kalliopoly are not yet finalised, but are being honed gradually in the course of trial games. The pair seem to have something of a permanent ongoing disagreement, for example, over whether or not the use of cartels should be permitted.
      Kontiala does not accept that players can ally with one another in this fashion, while Sohlman is strongly in favour of the idea. At present cartels are outlawed, but Sohlman's differing opinion has duly been written into the rules.
     
In order to resolve any (very probable) squabbles and conflict situations between players, the current set of rules states the following: "The designated banker shall act as an arbiter in disputes, but in the event that arbitration fails or when the banker is a party to the dispute, conflicts will be settled in gentlemanly fashion - outside in the street."
      So as to avoid this sort of thing happening, Kontiala and Sohlman offer one hint: it is best to choose the winner of the game before the first throw of the dice.
     
Helsingin Sanomat / First published in print 5.2.2005
     
     
* Note: The equivalent locations in the original Atlantic City version are the blue properties Park Place and Boardwalk and the slightly less valuable green streets of Pennsylvania Avenue, North Carolina Avenue, and Pacific Avenue. In the official Helsinki game, the two most valuable streets are Erottaja (technically this is an area - the meeting-point of several streets to the south of Stockmann's and the Swedish Theatre) and Mannerheimintie, followed by the trio of Bulevardi, Eira (another prosperous district rather than a street), and Tehtaankatu. Desirable places, all of them!


Links:
  Wikipedia: Monopoly, the board game
  Ghettopoly - a rather politically-incorrect 2003 spin-off (US version)

TOMI TYYSTERI / Helsingin Sanomat
tomi.tyysteri@hs.fi