COMING HOME: They don't talk, they don't kiss, and they don't say hello

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By Ilkka Ahtiainen
     
      There is an old saying that goes something like "A real Finn doesn't talk and he doesn't kiss on the cheek".
      I'd be inclined to add another thing to the list of what Finns do not do willingly. A Finn doesn't go in for greetings that extend beyond a grunt.
      This came back to me when I returned in the summer from four years working in Germany for the newspaper.
      Here in Finland, if one flips a friendly "Hei" to some stranger in the elevator or while out with the kids in the playground, the chances are that the response will come at a delay and in grunted form.
      During the pause between the greeting and the reply, the greeted's face clouds over with a mixture of shock and consternation that barely conceals the question: "Is this person slightly mental? Or is he drunk?"
     
I guess the Finn would prefer to be left in his or her own space even now, when most of the population already live in cities and are inevitably going to be rubbing up against other people, like it or not.
      Or then perhaps the majority of Finns believe that it is the others who jealously guard their privacy. Even though in reality everyone would probably enjoy exchanging a few words about the weather or the daily grind of family life.
      A couple of days ago I was surprised to hear behind me a woman saying good morning to the bus driver as she got on.
      But then when I glanced round, I noticed that the greetings were being delivered not to the driver but into her mobile phone.
     
In Germany people greet perfect strangers without giving it a second thought, when and if they come together in the same space.
      Deep down, the German seems to be thinking that it would be stupid to keep quiet if you areright next to someone.
      But not greeting someone is also impolite. it is read as a signal that the other person's presence is not even worth acknowledging.
     
I will admit that I was distinctly confused on the first occasion that I went into a doctor's surgery in Berlin.
      As I walked into the waiting-room, the half a dozen people alreadyseated there greeted me in chorus.
      "Guten Tag", I mumbled back, and was already priming myself mentally for the fact that next we would have to explain the reasons for our visit to the GP.
      For me at that time, a greeting was an assault on my personal space, threatening the protective ring of my Finnish privacy. Since then i have let the walls crumble and have begun to enjoy Germany's rich culture of greetings.
      Up north Guten Tag, further south Grüss Gott. The one I liked most was the unafected Servus that you find in the south of the country, which is handily suitable both when meeting and parting.
      At lunchtime, there's Mahlzeit. And in the Ruhr region there is still the old coalminers' greeting: Glückauf!
     
Encouraged by my experiences abroad, I have resolved henceforth to take up arms against the windmills and will blurt out greetings left, right, and centre here in Finland, too.
      Then again, it remains to be seen quite how long I will be prepared to put up with the stares and the stifled grunts I get in return.
     
     
Helsingin Sanomat / First published in print 30.9.2009
     
     
In this series of articles, former Helsingin Sanomat foreign correspondents stationed abroad reflect on Finland as seen through new eyes on their return home. Ilkka Ahtiainen moved back after four years covering news in Germany for the paper, and like the other two journalists whose comments were presented two weeks ago, he discovered a new view on things he might once have taken for granted.


Previously in HS International Edition:
  COMING HOME: Good bureaucrats (18.8.2009)
  COMING HOME: Rushing to take a breather (18.8.2009)
  COMING HOME: Registered male (18.8.2009)

ILKKA AHTIAINEN / Helsingin Sanomat
ilkka.ahtiainen@hs.fi