COMMENTARY: What we need next is an ordinance against farting
CITY LIGHTS
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By Mikkomatti Aro
The Finns are a malodorous bunch. If you need evidence, it can be had today - or tonight - in the heart of your nearest nightclub.
Yes, the cigarettes were stubbed out for the last time in bars and restaurants at the beginning of the month, but many are already feeling a sense of longing in their nostrils for the smell of smoke that covered everything with its ashy blanket. On the dance-floor in particular, things are pretty pungent right now.
When you dance, naturally you tend to get a bit sweaty. However, the the familiar “whiff of fermented raisins” represents the very lightest and most fragrant fraction of the olfactory cocktail.
I apologise in advance to the Federation of the Hard of Hearing, but right now a traditional clothes-peg is a more valuable accessory and safeguard then a set of protective ear-plugs when you are out tripping the light fantastic.
For it seems that cutting the cheese on the dance-floor is the summer’s hit exercise.
The noxious gases from people freely backfiring have also been noted on the other side of the counter, where people needed initially to be protected from inhaling cigarette smoke.
“When you walk among the people, you notice that some of the customers smell absolutely revolting”, confesses the restaurant manager at one Helsinki nightclub.
“If the place is packed, then the dance-floor really does not smell too nice.”
But not to worry, there are answers to the problem. The first is a simple hint: it is wise to treat possible gas or flatulence with something other than regular doses of beer.
The real salvation is to be found from abroad. In the United States, for instance, the ambient air in nightclubs has long been perfumed with artificial scents that cover up unpleasant bodily pongs.
The procedure is not completely unknown in Finland, either - for example some grocery stores have pumped the scent of freshly baked buns into the aisles.
For the quickest Finnish entrepreneur out of the blocks, the issue offers a nice little earner and a market opportunity. Few restaurateurs at this point can afford to go au naturel.
But in order that we do not forget the most essential thing here: Hey, Helsinki, hallo??? I mean, really, raspberry tarting on the dance-floor? Come ON.
What on earth would Åke Blomqvist have to say about this?
Helsingin Sanomat / First published in print 9.6.2007
Note: Åke Blomqvist is a famous, even legendary Finnish dance teacher, and also one of the organisers of this year’s Nordic Tango World Championships, to be held in Seinäjoki in July. Åke would NOT be amused at the current goings-on..
Previously in HS International Edition:
Public goodbye to smoking in bars in Finland (1.6.2007)
MIKKOMATTI ARO / Helsingin Sanomat
mikkomatti.aro@hs.fi
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| 12.6.2007 - THIS WEEK |
COMMENTARY: What we need next is an ordinance against farting
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