Helsinki area shelters gave refuge to 900 domestic violence victims last year

A margarine tub in the wrong position can provoke a beating

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By Merituuli Saikkonen
     
      “How much does reinforced glass cost?” The woman who asks the question is sitting curled up in a dark brown easy chair. On her fingers she has stylish rings. Pearls shine on her ear lobes. She does not want her name published, and will not consent to be photographed - even anonymously.
      “My husband would recognise me from the tip of my toe, and I would be in trouble.”
     
The woman has fled to the Espoo women’s shelter to escape a violent partner, as have eight other women who were staying at the shelter on Monday. Six of the women have children with them. There are a total of 12 children at the home, and one of the women is pregnant.
      All of the women have experienced violence. One tells about bruises on her arms, and the other about her hair being torn.
     
The women check off the different types of violence that they have experienced on a form that they have filled out: threats, contempt, destruction of goods, being treated as a servant, slaps, blows, twisting of limbs, kicking, being forced into having sex...
      “My own paper had quite a few crosses”, the woman said after sitting in a chair.
      More than 900 people in the Helsinki region stayed at a domestic violence shelter in the Helsinki region last year. The largest such establishment, the Espoo shelter, housed 380 of them, of whom slightly over 200 were children.
      The vast majority, 85 per cent, are there for the first time. A young, red-haired woman has checked into the shelter for the second time within a year. She has a young daughter with her.
      “The girl is happier here than usual. She probably likes it more if her mother is not always on edge.”
      The woman says that her husband is prone to fits of anger. At one moment everything is fine, and in the next, far from it.
     
A guidebook that is distributed at the shelter advises the victims of violence: “When you are being attacked, protect your head and stomach by bending forward, and protecting them with your hands and arms. Shout loudly the whole time. You have nothing to be ashamed about.”
      According to one study, about 250 women are victims of domestic violence every day - that’s one every six minutes. Between 20 and 30 are killed each year by a current or former partner.
     
Nearly always someone staying at the Espoo shelter has fled home after a death threat. This is also the case now. This time a weapon was involved.
      On the outside, the Espoo shelter looks like an ordinary detached house built out of white brick. A gravel drive leads to the front yard. There are signs at the corner. There is a sand box in front. A field opens up from the back yard. Jorvi Hospital is a few kilometres away.
      Four security cameras are in front. The windows are made of bulletproof glass.
     
The residents commute to work, and the children go to day care. A taxi arrives several times a day to take children to and from school. The woman curled up in the chair in the living room also goes to work from the shelter.
      She has been at the shelter for less than a week, and is the newest resident. During her time at the shelter she has slept for only a few hours.
      “I didn’t sleep during my first week either”, says the mother of a young girl.
     
A perpetrator of domestic violence usually needs no outward reason for the act, says Heli Raja-Halli, the director of the shelter. “It’s enough for a package of margarine to be left in the wrong position.”
      The victim’s days are spent fearing the next outburst.
      “The victims often suspect that the violence is their fault. They ponder if they have been nagging. But the violence is never their fault. Violence is always the choice of the perpetrator - and it rarely ends on its own”, Raja-Halli says.
     
Over time, family violence often becomes increasingly brutal, and more frequent. In spite of this, it is hard to leave a relationship. A quarter of residents at the shelter return home, while the rest do not.
      “Separation is not so easy”, ponders the mother of a young girl.
      If a resident decides to return home, a plan is drawn up with the staff for dealing with new violent situations. Alternate exits of the home are mapped out, and the resident is advised to hide important telephone numbers on a mobile phone with code names.
      It is also a good idea to keep a packed suitcase hidden somewhere.
     
Helsingin Sanomat / First published in print 4.11.2009


Links:
  The Federation of Mother and Child Homes and Shelters
  Tukinainen - rape crisis centre

MERITUULI SAIKKONEN / Helsingin Sanomat
merituuli.saikkonen@hs.fi