If you have time on your hands over Christmas...
CROSSWORD
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If you are short of something to do over the holiday, you may wish to try this simple crossword, which is actually rather less than simple.
Here are the rules. Read them CAREFULLY first.
Otherwise you'll only come whining to us and saying you don't understand.
The clues are not particularly difficult or cryptic ones, so don't worry if you are not one of those English City types who can do The Times Crossword in seven minutes on the train to work.
However, some of the clues do contain a trick element.
The words contain... err... a *NUMBER*.
To make it easy, it will always be a cardinal - like "trusTWOrthy", or "soONEr".
You will know WHICH clues are the odd ones, because for some strange reason the "(4, 4)" or "(9)" or "(5-6)" that you can see after the clue will NOT match the squares on the grid you see in front of you.
Here's a simple example:
Extremely anorectic, or in outer space (10)
You look at the crossword grid and see that there aren't 10 squares to fill on that clue, but only 6, so you know something is wrong...
The answer is w8less (wEIGHTless, geddit?)
Try another one:
1% (3,2,1,7)
However, when you look at the grid you seem to have only FIVE (!!!) squares to play with, instead of the thirteen you think you will need.
The answer is 1ina100 (ONE in a HUNDRED), and you put the "100" into one square, of course, and not three. If you have a clue that gives an answer, say, like "seventy-six trombones", then you put the 70 in one square and the 6 in the next.
Get the idea?
Not ALL the clues are like this (it would be far too difficult for my feeble mind to compile it), but enough of them are to keep you busy for a bit, anyhow.
Best of luck!
Hmm... Should we award a prize?
The easiest way is... add up the NUMBERS that you have in the finished crossword, and e-mail the total to us before January 3rd.
We'll see what we can do...
Note: Those of our readers who have been with us right from the bitter beginning, and who also still have a fully-functioning memory, may just remember a similar crossword venture from back in the last century. Please don't think we'd be quite so stupid as to use the same clues or answers again, too.
CLUES ACROSS
1 You could say Santa was fat, but it wouldn’t be PC, would it? (6-10)
8 Brings up, and gets on the back foot, too. (5)
10 Proto-punk band, now sadly dying off. (7)
11 Meant to do, with the one you fancy tieing the knot with. (8)
12 "The path of ___ ___ seldom runs smooth" (4,4)
13 Goliaths at a New York arena? (6)
14 I really wouldn’t bother if I were you - waste of money if you ask me. (3,5,2)
17 Get hitched after Tuesday. (3)
19 French spelling for an African nightmare in the news. (7)
20 Sounds like they might be in England, but these elevations are Italian. (9)
22 Pay attention! I’m talking to you. (6,2,2)
24 Artificially curved natural material: Aalto used it for tables and chairs. (8)
27 County in Ulster Province, but not in Ulster. (7)
28 A Finnish collector of tales and rune-songs. (5)
29 Gun-dog, a rich red in colour. (5,6)
CLUES DOWN
1 The way it’s expressed, the choice of phrasing. (7)
2 Sounds like you’re running after something, but this is to punish or restrain. (7)
3 All on your ownsome? Awww! (6)
4 Sweeps clean, so they say. (3,5)
5 A nest fit for eagles. (5)
6 After the bumps have been taken out. (6)
7 Agreement, permission, although it sounds like climbing. (6)
9 What we did in the sauna? (7)
15 About that Xmas gift, what is it supposed to BE? (9)
16 A war was fought over it, and Florence Nightingale got involved. (6)
17 "How do you want your stake, Joan of Arc?" Good show!(4,4)
18 Medication measure. (6)
21 Painful follower of the Marquis, perhaps? (6)
23 A brickie on the roof, and a Masonic officer, too. (5)
25 Cheat, in particular on your significant other. (3-4)
26 California jocks in helmets and body armour. (5-6)
Helsingin Sanomat
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| 21.12.2004 - THIS WEEK |
 If you have time on your hands over Christmas... |
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