Parents and teachers face hard questions from children after Kauhajoki tragedy

Psychologists advise parents to discuss events openly with children

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The events in Kauhajoki were the subject of discussion in many classrooms and morning assemblies at schools around Finland. In Helsinki, the city’s Education Department sent instructions to schools on how to discuss the events with both younger and older pupils.
     At the Kaisaniemi Primary School, the first hour of the school day on Wednesday was set aside for discussing the events, answering questions, and expressing emotions.
     “The children have asked if this could happen in our class, and anywhere. The events of Jokela came back to even the younger pupils”, said head teacher Marjatta Salonen.
     Some of the youngest had not heard of the shooting incident before the teacher told about it, but many parents taking their children to school had to answer questions about all the flags that were being flown at half staff.
     At the Mannerheim League for Child Welfare, worried parents called in to ask for advice on how to discuss the matter with their children, and how to reassure their children that it is safe to go to school.
     
Mannerheim League psychologist Marie Rautava urges parents not to be afraid to deal with the questions. Listening to children and giving them time are important, even though there may not be answers to all of the questions that come up.
     “When a child asks questions about why something like this happened, it is all right to say that nobody knows yet why this happened, and that it may be that no answer is ever found. If a child is afraid to go to school, it is good to say that the event was very unusual, and that it is extremely unlikely that it would be repeated at the child’s own school.”
     
It is important to be honest in the answers, but the child’s age also needs to be taken into consideration. If a small child does not ask about the events, or has not heard of them, there is no need to impose information on them.
     “Especially small children will bring it up themselves, if they have heard about the events in some connection. Then it is possible to talk about the matter and to say that adults are also very sad about what happened. However, I would protect small children especially from the news, so that it would not be present all the time.”
     A child can express anguish in ways other than talking. He or she might need the closeness of an adult, suffer from sleeplessness, or want to sleep next to a parent. Some deal with the matter in silence, but others may vocalise their reactions.
     “There can be jokes about the matter, and black humour. Behaviour like this also needs to be permitted, as it is a way for the child to process the events, and to try to get some kind of understanding of what has happened.”
     
The events in Kauhajoki has also re-activated memories linked with the Jokela school killings, Rautava says.
     “This event may be even more shocking now that the events of nearly a year ago are still in people’s memories”, Rautava says.
     Salonen says that the children at the Kaisaniemi school were more calm this time than they were after the Jokela killings.
     “Our youngest pupils have said ‘they were adults’. It is somehow easier for them to understand this than for something like that to happen at a comprehensive school”, Salonen says.
     Kauhajoki is also further away from Helsinki than Jokela, both physically and psychologically.
     In one class the large number of victims caused fear and confusion.
     “Pupils in the sixth grade had discussed security precautions at the school themselves, including the locking of doors”, Salonen says.
     
Salonen adds that teachers were pleased with the detailed and concrete instructions, in which children were asked to tell where they were when they heard about the event. The school, for its part, sent parents a message detailing how the matter had been told them.
     On its website, the Mannerheim League for Child Welfare has listed a number of instructions for parents on how to discuss violent news with their children.


Previously in HS International Edition:
  Ombudsman for Children wants study on media handling of Jokela shootings (21.11.2007)
  Local clergy help Jokela residents cope with shooting aftermath (12.11.2007)

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